When you put on the call headset, you don’t know if the person on the other line will finish the call.

Every day, call-takers at the Vancouver Island Crisis Society in Nanaimo sit in anticipation, waiting for the caller on the other end.

“An average shift can be anywhere from 10 to 20 calls. Higher risk calls often take longer to talk through, and if there is an intervention involved, that extends things further,” shared one Vancouver Island Crisis Society call-taker, who requested anonymity.

“A typical shift on the crisis line can include a range of conversations—from people feeling overwhelmed or isolated, to those struggling with thoughts of suicide,” Neil Cutler shares, Community Awareness Coordinator of VICS. Cutler has been in the Community Awareness role for three years, starting as a volunteer call-taker. He was on the lines for 15 years.

“Sometimes they just need someone to talk to about life, grief, mental health, or what’s going on in the world,” he says.

Although counselling at VIU is different from a call centre, Art Phipps, a VIU counsellor, is no stranger to discussing suicide with clients.

“VIU counsellors see anywhere from four to six students per day,” Phipps says.

“These appointments are primarily done in person with options for students to also have their counselling remotely (phone or virtual).”

There are many things that can make someone consider suicide that are often misconstrued from social myths. Many people think that active thoughts of suicide aren’t “normal,” but 10 to 15 percent of university students in Canada experience thoughts of suicide in any 2-week period. Cutler states that 80 percent of the population has suicidal thoughts in their lifetime.

Suicide is a taboo subject that many try to avoid. Cutler suggests that one reason for this is potentially due to the criminalization of attempted suicide that wasn’t lifted until 1972, when citizens of Canada argued that imprisonment was not a solution to suicidal intent. Policies were leaning towards care rather than punishment.

It was time Canada realized that suicide is a public health issue.

“One of the most common misconceptions is that people talk about suicide just to get attention. In reality, there is almost always a deeper reason behind those words, and we take every statement about suicide very seriously,” says another Vancouver Island Crisis Society call-taker.

Referring to someone who experiences suicidal thoughts as weak or selfish can be extremely harmful. Cutler has taken hundreds of calls.

“Through years of suicide bereavement work, I’ve seen the complete opposite,” Cutler says. “People who experience suicidal thoughts are often incredibly caring and deeply sensitive. It’s because they care so much that they can feel overwhelmed and lose hope.”

He explains how they worry about being a burden, holding in their pain for so long because they’re not sure it’s safe to let it out. The reality is, they don’t want to make life harder for their family and friends.

“While supporting others, I remembered something I had pushed aside: I had been suicidal in high school,” Cutler shares. “As I listened to people describe their thoughts and emotions, I realized they were using the same words I had once felt myself. That experience shifted my whole understanding—I no longer saw suicidal thoughts as a sign of weakness, but as something people endure with immense strength.

Cutler, the call-takers, and Phipps each had their own experience with suicide. Some once experienced suicidal thoughts themselves, or they lost a loved one or friend to suicide. Anyone can be suicidal regardless of age, socioeconomic background, or how they portray themselves.

Being able to be honest about our well-being with others and creating a space of compassion is crucial. Places like families, schools, workplaces, and communities are the places that can help create a communal change when it comes to de-stigmatizing suicide.

We can de-stigmatize suicide by making it okay to talk about it. That means creating safe spaces—in our families, schools, workplaces, and communities—where people can say, “I’m not okay,” and be met with compassion instead of fear or shame.

At the core, suicide is a community health issue that requires solutions from the community. “I believe we can all learn to support one another with the challenges of life that may lead someone to consider suicide and to support them to have other choices available in the face of suffering,” Phipps says.

It’s important to understand that no matter somebody’s circumstances, they can be struggling and need to be treated with compassion.

“Everyone is carrying a ‘bag of rocks’; you can’t see the weight of somebody else’s rocks, but you can see they’re there,” was a saying Cutler said was common in the call centre.

Suicide is a spectrum, or as Cutler puts it, “A river flowing to a waterfall.” The idea of the waterfall is committing, but most people sway in the river at multiple points.

If you’re stressed, grieving, or thinking about suicide, know that it’s alright to reach out. There are many ways to reach out:

• 988 is the National Crisis Helpline available from 6pm to 10pm
• 1-888-494-3888 is the Provincial Vancouver Island Crisis Society available on text 24/7
• Vancouver Island University Health and Wellness Centre at the Nanaimo campus
• VIU Wellness Peers in the Library

“If there’s one thing I’d want people to take away, it’s that help is here in many forms,” says Cutler. “Whether it’s calling or texting the crisis line, reaching out before things get to a breaking point, or connecting with our Suicide Bereavement Support Services after a loss—you don’t have to go through it alone. These services are free and offer a caring, understanding space for people to share and be supported.”