It’s no secret that as we grow up and navigate the “real world,” making friends becomes different. It starts out on the elementary playgrounds, from pushing each other on the swings to booking timeslots within our busy college schedules. With everyone wrapped up in their own lives, how do adults make friends today?

How can you find the time, let alone the courage?

For a third-year Creative Writing and Psychology student, Jennavieve Strub has experienced her ups and downs with making friends.

“The first year was fairly difficult for me,” Strub says. She thought that the people she had surrounded herself with were ones until the end; people that she’d attend weddings for and be friends for life with. Her first-year friends weren’t there for the long haul, however, as they naturally drifted apart.

In the second year, Strub found herself back on the friend market, which was a terrifying endeavour. Eventually, she made close friends with fellow students in her programs who shared her passions. This included friend Paige Vandop, who she quickly bonded over books with.

“Asking to sit next to someone you don’t know can lead to a lifelong friendship that you didn’t even know existed,” Strub says.

If you find it difficult to make close connections, you are not alone.

In 2023, adults in the workforce reported the lowest levels of happiness within their friendships, according to Statistics Canada.

Callum Rivoire, a third-year Gender Studies student, found a unique but common experience when it came to students making friends.

“You meet a lot of people, but you never make friends with them,” Rivoire says.

With Rivoire’s work in the disabilities department of the VIU Student Union, they’ve discussed with a variety of exchange students on the topic of making friends.

Many students face unique challenges when making friends, from cultural differences to the confidence of putting themselves out there. It can also be a struggle just to find the free time when students are balancing heavy course loads. Statistics Canada’s 2023 study agrees that, as a country, we have been gradually spending less time with our friends over the years.

A personal friend of mine, Eshal Naveed, finds it to be the opposite problem. Naveed is a dental hygienist student in her second year and she finds it somewhat easy to make friends. Most of her friends were made in the first year by offering to study with others. Even if it was from the smallest connection, she made a friend.

“I meet a lot of new people so if we don’t connect I move on. Sometimes people don’t vibe together and that’s okay,” Naveed says.

Naveed and I met through a mutual friend in our first year while studying together. Our friendship wasn’t instantaneous. It started with small steps by connecting over our studies in the library to going out for coffee to talk for fun. She is my closest friend but we both have to make an effort in our busy lives to foster our friendship.

“It’s hard to connect with people you only have a class or two with, or if your program schedules are different,” Naveed says.

With all of the constraints as a young adult, it can be difficult to make or find time for friends. By putting yourself out there to meet new people, you may make your best companions throughout university.

Make it your New Year’s resolution to try to make new friends or strengthen your current friendships! You may make a lifelong friend that you’ll forever cherish.