The canned stuff is easier, the bagged mix is faster, but if you’re trying to impress someone, making your own sloppy joes is an easy go-to. Pair it with that fancy pan of rice crispy squares you whipped up last issue, and you’ll be looking ridiculously suave.

THIS particular recipe has rules. Rules that have been passed down through friends and tested over and over again. Rule one: you need to eat this on Kaiser buns. Butter them up, maybe toast a bit with some garlic salt, but Kaiser is mandatory. Rule two: any mix that falls out of the bun needs to be scooped up and consumed with a chip. You can use tortilla chips, potato chips, or get creative and use yam chips.

The rules must be followed. The chain cannot be broken. Good luck.


  • 1 small onion, diced
  • 2 stalks celery, diced
  • 1 lb ground meat (I like beef, but apparently turkey is good)
  • 6-ounce can of tomato paste
  • 1/2 cup ketchup
  • 1 teaspoon ground mustard
  • 3 tablespoons brown sugar
  • seasoning to taste (I always say garlic powder)
  • Kaiser buns
  • chips


  1. Cook the ground meat, onion, and celery in a sauté pan until the meat is thoroughly cooked. Drain any fat.
  2. Add paste, ketchup, ground mustard, and brown sugar. Stir to combine.
  3. Cook for 20 minutes. Stir occasionally to keep it from burning on the bottom.
  4.  Season and then serve on Kaiser buns, with chips.