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Send your questions, concerns, and curiosities about sex to Diana via column@thenav.ca. Your questions stay anonymous and confidential!

By columnist Diana Pearson


I pick up a blue, ridged Fun Factory vibrator from the suspended display platform. I look at my partner, feel my face flush with a rosy glow, and press the button.

“Oh my god!” I exclaim. “It’s self-thrusting!”

We laugh as the vibrator takes on a life of its own in the palm of my hand. It makes me tingle. And him, too.

We continue browsing along the wall, leisurely perusing the selection of vibe bullets, butt plugs, anal beads, and dildos–some that are so big, I wonder where they could possibly go. We take our time pulling items off the wall, comparing sizes, feeling the vibrations and textures, evaluating battery-operated vs. rechargeable, silicone vs. plastic. We talk to the young lady behind the counter. She’s about my age and is unabashed as she answers our questions thoroughly and playfully.

After almost an hour, much blushing, and vulnerable but joyful conversation, we leave the sex store with a variety of new toys.

Sex shops are a place of joy, shock, laughter, and arousal. They’re also a space for education and enlightenment. With an open mind, exploring the creative engineering of these colourful and titillating products can open your mind and curiosity to sensations you may have never imagined.

The experience of going to a sex store with a lover is probably more valuable than the toys themselves. You don’t even have to buy anything–although you might not be able to resist. Interacting with the toys provokes conversation, breaks the ice, and can be a great way to playfully push boundaries in new and long-term relationships alike. Consent is ongoing and sometimes an afternoon at the sex shop can start a conversation that will lead to new sensual territories.

There are sex toys for every interest and pleasure center: countless vibrators with many speeds, shapes, sizes, textures, and intensity. The same can be said for lubricants: water, silicone, and oil-based lubes, lubes that tingle, warm, taste good, and lubes specifically recommended for anal sex.

There are endless items like strap-ons, fleshlights, cock rings, massage oils, kegel balls, cock cages (what?!), and double-ended dildos. Whips, rope, paddles, handcuffs, blindfolds, nipple clamps and collars. It is truly extraordinary to see the kinds of fantastic innovation dedicated to wild and erotic stimulation.

Each toy is a conversation starter, and a great way to uncover what gets you and your partner(s) off. Holding a butt plug in your hand and asking your partner, “does this turn you on?” can start an intimate conversation. Quizzing the sales expert is an exciting new way how to learn the kinky uses for all these toys.

Of course, going with a lover is not the only option. Why not take a friend? You’re sure to re-live hilarious memories of adventurous sex-mishaps and you’ll likely discover wonderful mysteries, differences, and similarities in the way your bodies are wired for pleasure. I went with a good friend a couple weeks ago, and it was so satisfying to hear a man waiting at the bus stop say to us, “What are a couple’a nice gals like you doing in a place like that?”

November is an overwhelming time for students. Deadlines are piling up and the never-ending onslaught of rain is a huge drag. I don’t know about you, but for me, kitten videos, carving pumpkins, and dog therapy are, quite frankly, not enough to relieve that tension of late-semester stress and the dust settling over Trumplandia.

In other words, set a bit of time aside from endless deadlines for some sexy time, and let your orgasms bliss you out with much-needed waves of endorphins, joy, sleep, and relaxation.

Did you know?

Nanaimo has two adult stores, Whispers Adult Superstore (2149-B Bowen Rd.)

and Source Adult (2980 N Island Hwy.).

If you want a more discreet option, try these Canadian retailers: pinkcherry.ca and hushcanada.com.

One of Diana’s passions is to encourage sex-positivity and open, shameless conversations about sex and sexuality through her column, “Dirtyin’ The Nav.” Her future path includes completing a Masters in Gender Studies and Social Justice, and teaching pleasure-based sex education. She is a non-fiction writer and a musician. As a copy editor, she revels in making The Nav look pretty.